There is little scope for scoops here in Oxford, but I thought I had one the other day when I came across John Prescott floating on his side in the Oxford Canal.
With flabby, pallid, bare flesh, blotchy skin, a little cocktail sausage beneath a bloated belly, dull, round eyes and his mouth open, he looked like an obese dead fish. I looked more closely – it was a dead fish.
If I had any scruples about portraying the former Deputy Prime Minister as a dead fish (and I don’t, at all) they disappeared when a photograph in the Times this morning reminded me that Prescott had once compared Peter Mandelson to a rather ugly crab. They were both, notionally at least, on the same side – indeed, I think Mandelson was on one of his probation periods in the Cabinet at the time. Prescott cannot complain if the same is done to him.
By the way, the slug-like thing where Prescott keeps his little sausage is not the result of Photoshop artistry. It was really there.