Regular readers will know that there is someone out there who makes regular searches for the name of the nagging Health Minister, Caroline Flint, plus some word suggestive of anatomy or mutual pleasure. I discovered this by accident after referring in passing to the wretched woman’s teeth, only to find that someone actually wanted to find such a reference.
To pander (in the literary sense) to this person, I have written a post replete with such terms, and the result Caroline Flint – an object of someone’s desires? now comes at or near the top of Google searches for her name plus breast, bottom, cock or whatever (the article itself, I hasten to say, has no hint of prurience in it; it just so happens that most such words have secondary and perfectly decent meanings).
I see evidence of such searches several times a week. It has to be said that no-one ever seems to search for Caroline Flint brain or Caroline Flint ability.
I have written also about the government’s disastrous Home Information Packs, or HIPs, with reference to the Housing Minister, Yvette Cooper. No-one seems to search for Yvette Cooper breasts, but then I suppose I wouldn’t know since I have not written about them.
Today’s list of searches resulting in hits on this site include, by chance, the following in succession:
yvette cooper hips
caroline flint legs
… which somehow suggests Dr Frankenstein’s shopping list or a bizarre version of that childrens’ game where you have to assemble whole people from mismatched cards of heads, torsos and legs.
Throw in Patricia Hewitt’s voice, Peter Hain’s fake tan on John Reid’s face, and Lord Falconer’s paunch; add external characteristics like Hazel Blears’ capacity to irritate; throw in personality traits like Gordon Brown’s miserablism and gloom, and you have a bogeyman – bogeyperson, I suppose – able to keep us all awake at night, fearful of what it will do next. Which is what we think of the Government anyway.