Gordon Brown’s Campaign Blog

If you want a laugh, go to Gordon Brown’s campaign Blog

I thought it was a spoof when I first saw it, before reluctantly concluding that it was for real – well sort of for real. That is, I am sure its genuine purpose is to campaign for Gordon Brown. I just don’t believe that all the entries were written by real people.

Here is an example:

Gordon Brown understands the challenges facing hard-working people in Britain today: the need for affordable housing; an NHS that can cope with the demands we place on it; and for schools that we can all be proud of sending our children to. Indeed, his passionate commitment to ending Child Poverty is truly noble. But he does this whilst remembering that the issues surrounding climate change must be solved over the coming years.

He has the potential to be an inspirational leader at home as well as a great statesman on the world scene. If elected leader of the Labour Party, I’m sure that Gordon Brown will lead a dynamic and energetic government and in doing so will ensure Labour another general election victory.

Its crap obviously – I mean no ordinary party supporter wishing to express his support for Gordon Brown would express himself like that. The sentiments are formulaic and trite and the language is too packaged – you just don’t fill in comment boxes with this eerily lifeless prose. It isn’t that it is grammatically incorrect, it is just not how people write in real life.

This must have been written by a committee of marketing men. Desperate to try and catch the approving tone of a representative Brown supporter, they have produced instead a parody, a pastiche in the style of someone who – I very much hope – does not really exist

Try this one:

Gordon Brown is a man of principle, with a record of achievement and after his speach today he is a man with a vision. He is a man that embodies Labours core values. He isnt old labour or new labour he is just labour through n’ through and I can think of no one who I would rather lead our party and whats more no one I would rather lead our country.

This is less polished – a spelling error, some missing apostrophes – but surely written by an educated person who thinks that this is how the proles write.

Or this:

It’s great to see that you’re supporting Mr. Brown in his bid to become leader of our Party and Prime Minister of our country. I have been a great fan of his for many years now – indeed, his stewardship of the economy and passionate commitment to social justice, both at home and abroad, are two of the main reasons I joined the Party in the first place. If given the chance to become PM I have no doubt that he will reinvigorate us as a Party, keeping with the things that we have done successfully in the last ten years of government while improving on areas where mistakes have been made.

I would like to fully agree with Nick Ward’s comments – Mr. Brown is as passionate about, and committed to, the Labour values of equality of opportunity, social justice, democracy and solidarity. I firmly believe that, given the chance, Mr. Brown could become an even better Prime Minister than he has been Chancellor – which would put him up there with the very best.

I am very keen not to be misunderstood here. I am all for people being able to express support for politicians whom I loathe – it is that which distinguishes me from New Labour. I am not mocking those who do not understand apostrophes and who split their infinitives. I just do not believe that anyone expresses himself like this except a focus group given the task of filling the pages with “authentic” support. It is about as authentic as a country accent on the Archers.

What though do we make of the few dissenting voices on the “Gordon for leader” Blog? Have they also been fabricated to add verisimilitude, or has the occasional rebel been allowed in. The one I liked most (whether it is genuine or made up by the clever-clever young men of the party) is this one:

So after a decade of undermining the leader on a regular basis now Brown wants to be leader himself? After the Incredible Sulk act of the last few years I can’t stomach the idea of him leading our party. For all his good ideas Brown has behaved terribly and so I’m afraid I shall abstain from delivering leaflets, knocking on doors and campaigning for Labour until a more decent man is leader. Blair should’ve moved him to the Foreign Office in 2001.

Once the great clunking fist has suffered a great clunking electoral defeat I’ll be more than happy to get involved again. So that’ll be in 18 months time then…

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About Chris Dale

I have been an English solicitor since 1980. I run the e-Disclosure Information Project which collects and comments on information about electronic disclosure / eDiscovery and related subjects in the UK, the US, AsiaPac and elsewhere
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